SHEEP: Resident Evil 6 and why the series should never have left Nintendo

Its unfortunate that actually interacting with Resident Evil 6 is an excruciating chore. This is a wannabe action film that resents your interference, and punishes you by forcing one horrible quick-time event after another upon you. – Gamespot

The unfortunate truth is that Capcom hasn’t figured out a new way to terrify gamers in the eight years since RE4. – 1UP

In the end, Resident Evil 6 resembles one of its grotesque mutations — bloated, out of control, and recklessly trying to consume everything around it. Capcom has built a real monster here. – Polygon

Don’t buy it. Its garbage. – Giantbomb

This people, is why you don’t leave Ninten…

There’s more content and variety here than in any other entry in the series, and its stories – while a little too goofy to really take seriously – are nonetheless fascinating, particularly for those of us who’ve watched these characters grow and develop over the years…RE6 is a strange experience, to be sure – but more importantly, it’s an unforgettable one. – Official Playstation Magazine

The heck was that?….oh, it’s just OPM.

Anyway, as I was saying; this is why you don’t leave Nintendo.

Some of you may be reading this and thinking “what the heck is this dude smoking?”, well I’ll tell you exactly what I’m smoking: the deadly toxic poison of truth.

And the truth is that the best Resident Evil games were on Nintendo systems! The best versions of the original PS1 games are on the ‘REmakes’ for the Nintendo Gamecube.

And the pinnacle of the series, the timed Nintendo Game exclusive Resident Evil 4 was at its best on both it’s original system and the Wii version. Yes, one of the few times the console version of a game was actually better than its PC counterpart, was on the Wii. Who would’a thunk it?

But of course, as soon as Capcom betrayed Nintendo, that’s when the series went straight downhill. Resident Evil 5 only achieved an 86.62% score on Gamerankings, a severe drop from the 95.83% score Resident Evil 4 achieved.

And then we have Resident Evil 6.

Resident Evil 6 is an incessant, monotonous slog from one room of shambling opponents to the next, providing cheap gun battles for people who truly have given up on enjoying something better. – Destructoid

Make no mistake about it, Resident Evil 6 is a bad game.

KevinV considers ending his career so that he can quit playing RE6.

Jeff Gerstmann gives tips on trolling people you dislike with RE6.

No, don’t give me excuses about how “5/10 is actually an average score and anything over that is good” and that “you’re a raving idiot that no one should take seriously”. When even IGN gives a game 7.9, you know either someone forgot to bribe the right people, or the game really is monumentally awful. In this case, it’s safe to say that Resident Evil 6 is a bad game and you should feel bad for considering to pay money for it.

“Nice.” *thumbs up* “I appreciate it.”

But just a few months before Resident Evil 6, we got the excellent Resident Evil: Revelaitons [sic], which was most certainly not Resident Evil 6. We even counted that game as “a winner”.

So what does all this evidence point to?

That once you go Nintendo, you cannot go back, because you will become terrible. And that Bayonetta 3 will probably suck.

Take a look at the other companies that once swore allegiance to Nintendo, only to remove their connection and suddenly leave to their doom:

Rareware – The creators of arguably the greatest games of the second half of the 90’s, only to be purchased by Microsoft where they suffered a slow, cold demise into making Kinect games.

Factor 5 – The technical geniuses behind the Star Wars Rogue Squadron games, left Nintendo for Sony; where they created the disaster called LAIR and died.

Silicon Knights – Made great games on the Nintendo Gamecube, only to suffer working for Microsoft on Too Human, leading to an embarrassing legal defeat and the death of their prestige.

You abandoned your Capcom Five glory days, Capcom; and Resident Evil 6 is the latest example of your continual badly-misspelled downfall.

About the author: The Sheep is a die-hard Nintendo fanboy. Having grown up with Nintendo games, he can’t imagine how anyone can not like Mario and the classic Nintendo franchises. He owns a full collection of Nintendo plushies which he poses accordingly.

9 responses to “SHEEP: Resident Evil 6 and why the series should never have left Nintendo

  1. This is one of the most embarrassing and worst posts I have ever had the displeasure of reading. How someone could ally themselves with Nintendo this much astounds me. My God, I hope people don’t meet you in real life, you seem like a terrible person, i.e. a drooling fanboy.

  2. “Resident Evil 6 and why the series should never have left Nintendo”

    it should be called why the series should never have gone multiplatform,

    What a joke of an article, also Microsoft Killed RARE, they did not die because of leaving Nintendo and they never left, they wanted to be bought by Nintendo in the first place but Nintendo refused.

  3. i think you will find resi went down hill after the main man behind it left…
    and it wasnt about “leaving nintendo”, capcom had a deal with nintendo to release games, they built some resi games on the gamecube, releaised they needed to make their money back and released it elsewhere
    shinji leaving is what caused the down hill, capcom were never actually owned or had a singular contract with nintendo

  4. The best version of Resident Evil 4 is debatable, depending on whether you prefer HD (PS3) or motion controls (Wii). Personally, I’ll take the latter, but certainly not everyone will agree. If only Capcom had put Move Support in the PS3 version, it would be the indisputable winner (and I would have bought it and sold my Wii copy).

    With regards to Resident Evil 6, I’m not exactly convinced that putting it on Wii U would have somehow made it a better game. That said, I do realise the article was not meant to be taken entirely seriously, although there is sadly truth to the way things have gone for Rare (and I guess the other two, but I’m not personally familiar with them except for the excellent work that Factor 5 did on the Turrican games on non-Nintendo systems).

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